She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
