Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
