if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
