That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just cropdusted the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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