I want to walk on stilts...naked
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize