Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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