You really coming over, don't trick.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
