Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
