You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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