those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
where are my eyebrows?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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