Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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