you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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