No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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