wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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