Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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