Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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