He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
