Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
