1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
