i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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