it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Randomize
