if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
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She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize