Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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