I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
