All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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