You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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