I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
