i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
