I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
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I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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