I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
