it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
