They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
my liver is dry heaving
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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