She went from zero to smokin in five shots
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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