What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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