Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
