you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
