So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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