Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
