I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
