It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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