I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
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