Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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