i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
