That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize