Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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