also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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