I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
