Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
