Have you finally orgasmed yet?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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