omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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