Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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