does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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