But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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