I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Randomize
