She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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