he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
