The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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