Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
