High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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