You can't motorboat a personality
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
