I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
