is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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